Here I am, forty something, standing on the precipice of a new beginning. I am naturally a giver, and I had spent my life working hard and giving my everything to everyone but me. Then one day I was given a gift, I was cast aside, given my freedom. I didn’t immediately realise it was a gift, but now I know, that starting a new chapter of my life was starting my time. I have given myself permission to listen to my internal guidance and I have learned to stay close to everything that makes me feel alive.
Having the confidence to step forward wasn’t easy. Funny thing though is when I did leap all I found was ease. I now understand that I am the creator of my life and that I call into my life everything that I am supposed to have and know. So I called and then he came.
As I stand tentatively on the precipice of a new beginning
I feel only two choices;
Look down into the abyss of fear and uncertainty,
or lift my eyes to the beautiful glow on the horizon
………..and believe I can fly
I am so very grateful to have found the love of my life, my teacher, my best friend, my travel companion, my lover. He has gently taken my hand and dragged me into the 21st century, encouraging and seeking out the real essence of me. Loving me and challenging me as I have worked through the initial struggle of believing I count, that I deserve to live a fabulous life.
I feel so lucky, I am living a middle aged version of Grease – he is my Danny Zuko and I am his Sandy. He is my bad boy that really has a big, soft, loving heart and I am the mousey inexperienced girl that he is bringing out of her shell.
I had always dreamt of travel, seeing the world and experiencing other places and cultures, but I always thought it was just that, a dream. I never imagined that I would ever really go to the places i dreamed of, I had been taught for years that those experiences were for others and not for me.
When my love booked tickets to Paris I was so excited. Excited but nervous, lil ole me? Paris? Really?
Paris Awaits. Paris Awakes
As we planned our trip, I was wallowing in day dreams of the great painters, art and culture. I packed my bag and still it didn’t feel real. I felt shaky as we handed over passports checking into our flight. I slipped into another level of consciousness and I watched from above as the young lady behind the counter handed a boarding pass that said Paris to that seemingly distant woman below. She looked closely at that pass and as she smiled I recognised the smile and the hand that held the boarding pass, I finally realised was mine.
There was a flurry of cues and x rays and stamping of documents, shoes off, hats off, arms up, legs spread, bomb wand waved over bags until we finally emerged out the other end slightly more dishevelled than we were when we arrived at the airport. After checking that our shoes were back on the right feet and threading belts back onto trousers, necklace back on and a sweep of lippy just to feel settled again (to be fair that one was only me); we moved past airport security straight into duty free shopping heaven.
My love is excited to introduce me to a few magic treats here. Chanel foundation, Clarins Beauty Flash Balm; Mac Lip Glass; Victor and Rolf Flower-Bomb fragrance;, OPI nail polish. On one hand I am excited and feeling very spoiled as he gathers extravagant treats for me that I haven’t experienced before. On the other I’m wondering how the fuck he knows all this girly shit?
Loaded up with amazing goodies we move on to the lounge to wait for our big bird whose powerful wings will carry us to Paris.
Many hours (and a stop in Dubai) later, we find ourselves descending over Paris. In the distance I see the Eiffel tower for the first time and below, Charles De Gaulle Airport looks to me like a Star Wars set, with terminals that could be quite at home on Tatooine. As the plane gently plops down onto the tarmac I find my tummy doing little somersaults that have nothing to do with the landing. It’s real, I am actually here on the ground in Paris, the city of light.
My first view of Paris is magical, driving through the streets I look up at the beautiful street scapes. Wide eyed I am watching the shopfront windows and buildings that whizz by as we move through the burbs into gorgeous central Paris. I’m so excited I don’t want to blink incase I miss something.
Paris fun facts:
Guy de Maupassant (the famed French writer) ate lunch at base of Eiffel Tower almost each day. His reason was that he hated the Eiffel Tower and that was the only place in the whole Paris from which he could not see it. – Source
A brothel in Paris named “Le Chabanais” was frequently visited by King Edward VII. King Edward would fill a bathtub full of champagne to bathe in along with his prostitutes. That bathtub was then sold to Salvador Dali in 1951. – Source
Hitler gave orders to destroy Paris on the eve of the allied liberation in 1944, but the Nazi General in control of Paris intentionally ignored the order. – Source